Matchmaking Woes
by Basikilos
Summary: Fire Emblem's new support system is all about matchmaking and marriage. Let's see how a few players decide to match up their characters! Loosely based on real-life situations.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As always, FE belongs to Intelligent Systems.

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Joanne looked up from her Nintendo 3DS. "Alex, what the heck is this game that you've got me playing?" she shouted, exasperated. "I have all my units fighting together for the stat bonuses. I level up my supports for all my characters, and suddenly, the Exalt's brother and I are walking in on each other naked? Explain this!"

Alex glanced up from his computer. "Oh, I forgot to warn you. That's the support system of Fire Emblem: Awakening. And no spoilers, but it gets very important later on."

"What do you mean?" she furrowed her brow indignantly.

"I mean…" Alex drawled. "If you keep fighting next to that Ylissean prince, you might find yourself _permanently_ stuck with him."

She chewed her lip, annoyed. "But I don't _want_ to marry Chrom! If anybody, I'd want to marry Gaius. Mmmm. That bad boy attitude and that body of his…" she trailed off, lost in thought.

"Ugh," Alex rolled his eyes at his sister's words. "Spare me from your adolescent fantasies. Anyways, again, not trying to spoil things, but if you want to marry Gaius, you might want to hurry."

"Fine, fine. I'll go and get him to fall in love with me now." Joanne huffed and went back to playing. After all, according to her brother, there was no time to waste. There were weddings to plan and matches to make!

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A/N: One of the many conversations I had with my friends that inspired this fic :P


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: help I can't write anything serious anymore

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"Alex!" her voice broke his concentration again.

"What _is_ it?" he asked, irritated. "Could you just let me finish killing this MVP before you interrupt my –" he was cut off as she seized his mouse and x'ed out of the game that he had been playing.

"You need to help me! I want Chrom to marry Olivia but he keeps going off and marrying that other girl. I don't like her and I don't want her to marry anybody. How do I get Chrom to get hitched with her? I've had Olivia dance for him about sixty times, and he _still_ won't fall in love with her!" she complained.

"Hmph," Alex replied. "Since you probably made my entire guild hate me because I probably just died, I might as well take a look. They're not gonna let me go on another quest with them anytime soon now." He took the 3DS from her hands. "Wait, what is this!? Sumia already has a C support with Chrom. Of course he'd marry her, stupid."

"What? What do I do then?" Joanne snatched the 3DS back from him and stared at it despondently. "It's not like I can make them hate each other now, can I? Wait, is that possible? Can I do that?" she looked up at him hopefully.

He smirked and shook his head. "Nope. Not a chance. I hoped you saved earlier, 'cause if you didn't, you've got to start from the beginning…"

"I don't want to!" Joanne scrunched her face up in frustration. "There's gotta be _something_ I can do…wait! What if I marry her off to somebody else?"

"I thought you said you didn't want her to marry anybody," Alex pointed out.

"Well, I can make her marry Frederick. He's equally boring and uncool, so they make a perfect match! And then Chrom can be free to marry Olivia. Hey, why doesn't this game have any functions for adultery?"

Alex sighed. "Sometimes, I wonder how we're related."

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A/N: I had _so_ much difficulty getting Chrom and Olivia married, haha.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey!" It was Joanne again. Alex sighed and spun around in his computer chair.

"What is it this time?" he asked pointedly.

"I was looking at your save file, and –" Joanne started, only to be cut off immediately by her brother's angry voice.

"What are you doing in there? That's _my_ save file, and if you mess up any of my characters and long hours of hard work and matchmaking, I'll delete yours!" Alex grabbed the 3DS from her and turned it off. "Honestly. I wish I could password protect my file or something…"

Joanne pouted. "…Anyways, like I was saying, I was looking at your save file and I noticed you paired Gaius with Tharja! Why would you do that? Gaius is _wayyyy_ too good for her. And he's _my_ husband. You should keep him unmarried in your game because he belongs to me!"

He pushed his glasses up higher. They had begun to slip down the bridge of his nose, as they so often did. "No, he's not, and no, he doesn't. Tharja's stats are incredible and who I match my characters with is none of your business! It's your fault for poking around in my save file. And this way, Noire can get Galeforce."

She sniffed. "Are you serious? You're using my hubby as a breeding tool for powerful children? How _dare_ you!"

He eyed her with the disapproving stare that only a big brother could manage. "I'm not sure whether to be concerned for your sanity or pleased that you have good taste and like the game so much. Still," he popped out the cartridge from the 3DS, "I think I'll be keeping Fire Emblem: Awakening from you until I finish it, just as a precaution."

"Ugh. Fine. I guess I'll just go off and play Harvest Moon or something." Joanne crossed her arms and stamped angrily back to her room, where she instead spent the rest of her day writing some truly terrible MU/Gaius fanfiction.

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A/N: I have really strange conversations with some of my friends.


End file.
